Brad And Angelina Are Getting Married On A Boat

Reports are saying that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have arranged to get married on a boat next week. Close friends of the couple say that the two are going to get married in the middle of Lake Como in northern Italy.

The original plan was to get married at George Clooney's house, but it looks like the boat is a pretty sure thing. And hey, they can hire this guy if George can't come.

Who really knows for sure anymore? Who cares? They are going to get married soon, that's the only thing certain. I just want her to give birth to this demon squid so she can get back to being hot again. I'm tired of this fat, non-sexy thing.