Avril Lavigne is wicked out of style

When I consider the fact that Avril Lavigne is becoming a bigger and bigger celebrity every day and that people all over the world actually give a shit about this girl, the only explaination I have is that Avril has a fairy godmother who cast an enchanted spell so that anyone who sees Avril will automatically see her as 1 million times more charismatic than she actually is. This must have been what hapenned back in high school when Maria Papagopolis made it to the cheerleading squad. How could Maria have possibly been a Tartan cheerleader when she has back fat and a moustache and smells like kabob?

Here's a recent picture of Avril pimping out her lousy CD. And, yes, I think those are Vans she's wearing. I know, people. You don't need to say it ... I know.

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Avril Lavigne is an alien

If I saw a girl walking up to me like this, the first question I would ask is where her space ship was. But I'm sure I wouldn't have the chance because she would ask where our leader was and proceed to kill everyone on Earth. Aliens never want peace. I've seen the movies. But they do want cock.

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Avril Hates Britney

While most people have been supportive of Britney's insanity, Avril would rather throw her in a well.

She told The Sun: "What's happened to Britney is all down to who she is as a person. If you want a piece of this business you have to be able to deal with it. You can't complain about pressures, the paparazzi, the madness because that's the job."

Avril goes on to say that she loves to drink and party too, but that she can handle it and "no one really gets to know". Uhh. Wasn't it 6 months ago that Avril was spitting at paparazzi at Hyde? And wasn't it yesterday that I saved little Johnny from his kidnappers? Damn, right. Take that, you bastards.

Source

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Avril Is Not Naked Enough

I've wanted to have sex with Avril since I was a little boy, but this bitch still doesn't get slutty enough. She's got the face and the body, but not enough motivation. We should start giving her what most Canadians want. Communism and bums on every street corner. Take that, Frenchy!

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