Anna Benson Is The Only Reason To Watch Baseball

This is Anna Benson in the April 2006 FHM baseball preview issue. Anna Benson, who has been named "baseballs sexiest wife", is married to Kris Benson. She has always been in the media because of her outlandish personality and hot looks, but is becoming more and more popular recently.

She publicly talks about her obsession with sex and takes super boner popping pictures. Who wouldn't like her? Don't answer that.

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Justin Timberlake Hates K-Fed

MSNBC has confirmed that Justin Timberlake stays up to date on his Britney news, and he hates K-fed. Timberlake has even called him "gross"

Star said this: “He thinks Kevin is gross, and there’s not much that would change his mind about that,” a source told the tab. “He says that they [Spears and Timberlake] had a lot of great years together, and he’s pretty sad at how things turned out for her.”

Well, nothing like making fun of the dorky kid to bring popularity into yoru own backyard. This is a similar trick I would use in highschool. I would always make fun of losers in order to make people like me, and let me tell you, it worked like a charm. Good work, Justin. Everyone will like you even more if you burn this man alive.

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George Clooney Rejects Lindsay Lohan

CBS is reporting that Lindsay Lohan struck out when she made her move for George Clooney a few nights ago at a club. After overtly flirting with Clooney, Lindsay finally realized she wasn't getting anywhere, and had to leave him alone. Clooney was nice and engaged in conversation with the Lohan, but he did not pick up at all on her obvious advances.

Later, a source close to Clooney admitted: "Even if I was attracted to Lindsay -- she's WAY too young for me."

Is there any guy Lindsay doesn't want to blow in a club bathroom? I could dress an unwashed donkey in a top hat and suit, and Lindsay would be trying to give him a free blow job. Something like "ohhhh I haven't seen you here before", or an equally stupid line.

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Paris Hilton Works Three 6 Mafia

Reports have confirmed that Paris Hilton is set to become a rapper. Hilton has been wasting time in the recording studio with Three 6 Mafia.

Band member Jordan "Juicy J" Houston is quoted: "We ran into her and she said she liked our song Stay Fly and asked could we work with her. We let her listen to a dance track. She really liked it and now plans to record it. We're just getting into the studio and putting together some more tracks for her. Then we'll see where it goes from there."

I don't know why all of these people in the music industry are so easily manipulated. If Paris Hilton can convince someone to actually be an associate in buisness, they are doomed. She should be happy if she could convince a Monkey to eat flies, nevermind work with Three 6 Mafia

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Jessica Simpson Is Dating Dane Cook

IMDB is reporting that Jessica Simpson is reportedly becoming more than just good friends with her latest co-star, comedian Dane Cook. The couple went to see the movie Inside Man, and things started to heat up a bit.

Us Weekly claims: "They were sitting really close to each other and at one point she laid her head on his shoulder." Then a week before at a party: "They were sitting next to each other all night and were in their own world. They were holding hands and laughing and hugging.

Simpson's reps have said they are just "Friends", but I'm still not so sure. Dane Cook is one of the leading men in the fight against censorship, not to mention on my top 8. I'm not so sure Jessica would understand most of his jokes, but she does understand most of anything. Don't you remember her marrying some low rent guy from a boy band. What was his name? uh.

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Reese Witherspoon Interview Magazine Outtakes

These are the outtakes from that recent Reese Witherspoon photo shoot in Interview Magazine. I think they may actually be better than the pictures they chose to go into the magazine.

I guess since there is no good Reese news, I will use this as a shameless plug for the most anticipated book of all time. Yes, that's right. I'm talking about Maddox's book. If you love Maddox's website, which I'm sure you do, go buy Maddox's new book.

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Kevin Federline Is Playing With Fire

Female First is reporting that Kevin Federline has decided to name his upcoming album Playing With Fire. Federline, who is obviously married to Britney Spears, is set to release the album in August and is being billed as a performer and rapper.

Federline said: "The inspiration and meaning behind the title is self-explanatory, because my album is sure to set the dance floors across the world on fire!"

The only thing that's going to be set on fire is Kevin's cornrolls after I accident's listen to one of his songs on the radio. I don't think he really gets it. Nobody likes you. Hell, your wife doesn't even like you. If I ever have children, I will sacrifice my first born in the name of you not making another record.

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Teri Hatcher And Ryan Seacrest Are Kissing

Teri Hatcher and American Idol host Ryan Seacrest were photographed kissing after they ate lunch in Malibu, California. The two engaged in very public displays of affection as they took a stroll on the beach. She was all over him and they couldn't stop kissing.

A source tells Us Weekly, "It's not super-serious. They're not on the road to marriage or anything."

Listen. We know this isn't serious. I'm tired of Ryan Seacrest trying to prove he's not gay all the time. Everyone knows your gay, stop trying to hide it. Seacrest has done so many things to prove he is not gay: Orgies with supermodels, sex with female celebrities, and now making out with Teri Hatcher. Hmm, this seems a lot like my life. Nice try Ryan, nice try my friend.

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We Already Know Your A Crackhead

Whitney Houston's sister in law, Tina Brown, took these pictures of Whitney's home and did an interview with the National Enquirer.

NE reports: "Amid the trash, leftover food and empty beer cans are the tools of the hardcore drug fiend — pipes, rolling papers, spoons in which powdered cocaine is cooked into crack, lighters. The picture was taken by one of Whitney's closest friends and relatives — Tina Brown, sister of her husband Bobby.In the most explosive interview ever about Whitney, Tina tells how the 42-year-old singer spends days locked in her bedroom amid piles of garbage smoking crack, using sex toys to satisfy herself and ignoring personal hygiene."

My drug binges are much different then Whitney's. Mostly because I have sexy pornstars sitting there with me the entire 7 days. We don't sleep, it's just not the nature of the beast. Sometimes the pornstars ignore personal hygene, but I make sure to keep on showering twice a day. All that sex does get you sweaty, and just looking at the pornstars covered in my super sperm makes me feel dirty.

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Tom Cruise Is Not Popular

Pedia is reporting that Stuff magazine just conducted their annual poll to find out who is the most unpopular celebrity. You know you're not popular when Americans claim they like terrorists more than you. Obviously, his popularity started declining when he started promoting Scientology.

Here's what they said: " Cruise became the undisputed winner of this year'’s poll, with 41% of the votes in his favor, dethroning Saddam Hussein'’s
39%."

Losing a popular contest to a terrorist is a lot like a girl turns you down to have anal sex with AIDS patient. It's just remarkable that someone can be undesirable.

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Kate Is Helping Lindsay Sober Up

The Mirror, among others, is reporting that Kate Moss is currently trying to help Lindsay Lohan sober up. Kate Moss has adopted Lindsay Lohan in an attempt to get her life back on track. Kate is mentoring her using the teachigns of that cult she belongs to, Alcoholics Anonymous.

A source claims:"Lindsay's been through hell in the past year,Her folks Dina and Michael got divorced, suing and countersuing each other before her dad landed in jail for attempted assault on his brother-in-law.She's admitted to eating disorders and dabbling in drugs and alcohol - as well as going on spending sprees when she was down.Kate's parents also got divorced when she was younger, and she's had a difficult relationship with her dad, so all of these things help the two connect. "

I can't think of a worst person to get help from then Kate Moss. Maybe if I was drowning and somebody through a paraplegic into the water to help me, that might be worst. Maybe. Chances of Kate Moss being sober right now (it's 7:37am), are slim to none. Mostly on the none side. She is probably letting some 300 pound black guy plow her for another hit of blow.

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Mariah Carey Slims Down For P Magazine

Nosy Snoop found this new Mariah Carey photo shoot from P magazine. Mariaponamous was weighing in close to 20 pounds heavier the last time I saw her, it looks like she finally put down the bon bons.

I don't think anyone can deny the fact that Mariah Carey is the fat girl that goes around eating bon bons, it's just her style, and always will be. Well, enjoy the pictures. I only posted these so you can see her tits in the first picture.

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Britney Spears Is Getting Sued

TMZ is reporting that three of Britney Spears' former bodyguards have sued her, claiming they worked a lot of overtime and never received overtime pay.

The report says: "The lawsuit, filed Tuesday in Los Angeles Superior Court, claims the guards worked between 12 and 16 hours a day and were often on call 24 hours a day, but never got anything but a straight salary.The plaintiffs, Lonnie Jones, Randy Jones and Silas Dukes, say they were terminated last November and did not get their final paycheck."

God forbid Britney can't get her foot massage at 4am. If Britney wants a foot massage, than Britney will get a foot massage. I can only imagine working for this low rent singer is a lot like working for some half zebra, half duck billed platypus women. Don't ask for an explanation, I didn't put much thought into that.

BTW: these are the pictures from yesterday that many people are claiming prove she is pregnant. I think she looks just as fat and ugly as always, like an overweight duck billed platypus, chewing on a charlston chew.

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Sienna Miller In Basic Instinct 3?

Channel 4 has confirmed that after Sienna Miller heard rumors of a Basic Instinct 3 being made, she went to movie producers to get the lead role. However, Sharon Stone hated the idea and didn't take Jude Law's ex serious.

Channel 4 said: "Sharon was of course offered first refusal of the lead role, and she accepted, only to have a quiet chuckle when she found out Sienna had been after it."

I would have to admit, Sienna Miller isn't a good actress. She did that stupid cake movie (you probably never saw it), and now she wants to do a big time movie, which Basic Instinct isn't. It's about as worthless as a Jurassic Park franchise, there's just no more surprises. Oh, wow, look, a dinosaur. Great. Or even better, oh, wow, look, a tit. Great.

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Brokeback Mountain 2

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Sharon Stone Promotes Oral Sex

The Post Chronicle is reporting that Sharon Stone thinks that teenagers should practice more oral sex. She believes oral sex should stop the problems that come from intercourse.

She said:"Young people talk to me about what to do if they're being pressed for sex. I tell them (what I believe): oral sex is a hundred times safer than vaginal or anal sex. "If you're in a situation where you cannot get out of sex, offer a blow job. I'm not embarrassed to tell them."

Sharon Stone has really been talking about sex a lot lately, and it's only to promote Basic Instinct 2. That's it. It's the same way 5o cent promotes his albums, except he goes out and gets in gun battles to do it. She wants a bunch of hype around this movie, and even though it will do OK, I'm not going to be impressed.

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Link, Link, Link.. Link That Booty

Clay Aiken can't trick us into thinking he's not gay.(Dlisted)

The OC girls have sex: pics and video. (Egotastic)

Stacy Kiebler's Maxim photo shoot video. (Save Manny)

Randy Quaid sueing Brockback Mountain. (I Dont Like You)

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Scarlett Johansson Is The Sexiest

MSN is reporting that Scarlett Johansson tops the 100 Sexiest Women in the World, in a poll of readers by FHM magazine. Angelina Jolla took number two, followed by Jessica Alba, Jessica Simpson,Kerry knightly, Halley Berry, Jenny McCarthy, Maria survive, Carmen Electra and tree hatchery. The magazine will hit news stands on April 4th.

The magazines editor said:"It's remarkable how Scarlett Johansson has caught the attention of our readers. Her sultry voice and striking beauty certainly have a lot to do with that, but so does the confidence she exudes."

I don't know how long I've been saying this, probably over two years, but I picked this. I have been talking about Scarlett being the next big thing forever. When everyone else was fawning over Lohan, I was all about Scarlett. Well, I'm not right yet. FHM is hardly the criteria that all sexy women are judged by. Update: I don't know how or why it said FAME instead of FHM, but it is FHM magazine, obviously)

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Wilmer Took Mandy Moore's Virginity

The Bosh is reporting that Wilmer Valderrama, one of the stars of That 70s Show, as well as being known for banging young stars, visited the Howard Stern. Wilmer came clean about many things, one being that his penis is over 8 inches long.

The show wasn't two interesting until they brought up Mandy Moore. Wilmer claimed that he took Mandy Moore’s virginity, Wilmer told Howard that the sex was “really good” with Mandy, but also acknowledged that it wasn’t “like warm apple pie.”

I don't know when this guy will stop. It just seems like he can do anything. The rumors about the girls he has bagged have been unreal. I wouldn't be surprised if he spent his days having supermodels cook his food and clean his house. Rumors are that this man isn't even real, but made up by the media as a means to make people hate their own life.

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Leo DiCaprio and Lindsay Lohan Secretly Dating

Reports are flying around saying that Leonardo DiCaprio and Lindsay Lohan have been secretly dating for three months. The two are rumored to have fallen for each other ever since meeting over New Year. Friends claim they are helping each other get over the past relationships they struggled with.

A source is quoted saying: "Leonardo is besotted with Lindsay. They are a perfect match.They wanted to keep it a secret just because it's more fun that way."

Sometimes complete opposites do attract. I know this, because it happens to me. I, being a person who lives by strict morals, often find women who are IV drug users and go on dates. Leo is a good actor. Lindsay is a bad actor. I think this is pretty similar.

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Rachel Weisz Is Elegant

The Post Chronicle is saying that actress Rachel Weisz, who is doing that trendy pregnant thing like everyone else, has reprimanded women for their extreme weight loss. She refuses to drop weight quickly after her pregnancy. Rachel, who won an Oscar this year, strongly believes that women do not need to punish their bodies with severe diets.

Rachel had this to say: "If you diet away your curves you are dieting away what makes you a woman, your femininity.I enjoy dressing up,almost all women do - but, really, you can do that without flagellating your body."

Well, thank you that save the world crap. I swear to god, why do some of these people waste their time? There's nothing I hate more than a generic statement to make yourself feel righteous. Things like: Women shouldn't crash diet. war is bad, don't shoot people, and help out puppies. All of these sayings are a waste of time.

BTW: I only posted this story to show Rachel's new April 2006 Vogue Photo Shoot.

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