Mel Gibson Will Not Go To Jail

Mel Gibson got off pretty easy on Thursday, pleading no contest to a misdemeanor charge of drunken driving. He will be on probation for 3 years and required to attend alcohol rehabilitation sessions.

The tribune went into a little more detail, saying: "He pleaded no contest to driving while having a 0.08 percent or higher blood-alcohol level. A second misdemeanor count, driving under the influence of alcohol, and the infraction of driving with an open container of alcohol, were dismissed."

I hope next time I'm driving around drunk, figuring out ways to throw all the Jews in my new gas chamber; the cops let me off easy. Because that's pretty much what happened with Mel Gibson. I shouldn't be too jealous, though. I once got off with probation when I climbed up to the bell tower and shot a bunch of women protesting abortions. Everyone knows condoms ruin the feeling, just abort the things.

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