Pink Believes In Witches

Local nut job with no talent, Pink, had a magic spell put on her husband. Pink, who is married to motocross racer Carey Hart, has revealed the witch's spell will ensure that he would never leave her.

She told Britain's Glamour magazine: "I have a friend who is a white witch and, on my hen night, she cast a love spell on Carey and everyone showered me with rose petals. It was amazing."

There's nobody that hates Pink more than me, and this just clarifies my belief that it is OK to hate somebody without ever meeting them. I'm not going to pretend to know what exactly a white witch is, or what the hell a "hen night" is, but it's safe to say the thought of her covered in rose petals makes me want to vomit. The only people that should believe in witches are loser goth kids who pretend to be depressed over a troubled past, but everyone really knows they wish they had a varsity letter.

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