Brad Pitt Will Not Have Sex

Brad Pitt has announced that he will not do any more sex scenes in movies, because he doesn't want his kids to see him in the nude. Brad has decided that he will only do films that his entire family can see from now on.

Pitt is quoted in the Sun newspaper as saying: "I do think about what they are going to see and certainly some of the stuff I have done, what they are going to see when they grow up and I am a little concerned. It definitely colours what I'll approach in the future. I will try to be a little more mature about my decisions I think."

Most people don't believe I know a lot about children, but based on my "uncle of the year" t-shirt I found in a shopping cart, I do. I usually bring children to my apartment so they can see sex tapes I made with various women. The kids always ask why the picture quality is so small and blurry, but after I explain that it was a pen camera I had hidden in the light, they understand. Explaining the handcuffs is different story altogether.

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