Jack Nicholson Will Probably Die

Jack Nicholson is being treated in a Los Angeles hospital for a mystery illness, which doctors are still rushing to try and figure out. No doctor knows what this sickness is, but sources say it is pretty bad.

His agent Sandy Bresler said: "I do not comment on Jack's personal life."

I've heard some pretty bad news in my life. Things like, "I won't have sex with you," "you're uglier than a chld with down syndrome" and "we may have to cut off your penis due to this infection," but this takes the cake. When a team of doctors tell you they don't know what kind of death plague you have, you're screwed. It's almost better to have a ninja sword stuck in your forehead, because at least you know what you're dealing with.

Source